Miriwood

This time, Australian comedy, Kath & Kim.
Click here to see the tragicness. And not tragic in the funny way like on the Aussie version.
Dear god no.
As if America needs another reason for Australia to hate them.

The only good US comedy remake was The Office, because Steve Carrel is awesome.

KNEE PAD TIGHTS!

..Knee pads? ...In tights? ...Seriously?!
Why else would you need them?
And what if you prefered to be nekkid?
THIS DOESN'T MAKE SENSE.
"Hi, I'm going to give you a blowjob, brb, puttin' on mah blowjob tights."
Seriously?
Sorry, too dumbfounded to talk properly.
It couldn't possibly serve any other purpose.

OMG, YOU GUYS.
Jess-I-mean-Milo (yes, I still refer to him as his character on Gilmore Girls, stfu, Jess was hot, JESS+RORY 4EVAHHH!) is gonna propose to Hayden!
They both have annoying last names that I don't want to type, so obviously they're made for each other.

So thank you, Hayden, for giving late-teenaged fangirls the hope that they too can score a hot but kind of old dude. We salute you.

sourcey.

So there's lots of internet ~drama between Hanna Beth and Jeffree Star at the moment, supposedly caused by Hanna wanting to become a MTV VJ and therefore not being able to be friends with Jeffree anymore.

And the drama continues! Hanna's boyfriend, Trace Cyrus (yeah, Hannah Montana's brother, ahahaha) is getting in on the fight too! Defending Hanna, of course.

(For more info plus MySpace bulletin copies see my personal LJ here)

Quote of the day: "stay the fuck out of the scene" - Trace Cyrus, in a text message sent to Jeffree (see source).

So...Team Hanna or Team Jeffree??

source.

And I would totally say if she was fat because, y'know, I'm a massive bitch.
Also, her feet are not that big.
Maybe I'm just grumpy because I have big feet and bad legs too.
Either way, LC is NOT FAT. NOT. FAT.
So fuck you, Faded Youth Blog!

But seriously, how could I not?!



Let the buttseckz jokes flyyy!


thank you, ontd

Oh hi Ashlete candids~

So Pete looks strangely happy, that's new.
Also strange: Ashlee's boob in the third picture. What the hell? I don't know why but it just looks weird. Is that a pregnancy thing?
Pete's boobs look weird too, I guess.

I'm not even commenting on this particular TMZ heading.

So hey, you guys, Ashley Dupre dropped her lawsuit against Girls Gone Wild founder, Joe Francis!

Okay, so I'm going to be completely honest here and say that I had no idea who the hell Ashley Dupre was, but I sure knew she must be important to be able to file a $10 million lawsuit, even if it's against a creep like Joe Francis.

So anyway, I did a little research and found out that Ashley Dupre is actually a prostitute.
...Yeah.
The fact that America has worse D-listers than Australia's made me happy.

Despite this, it also made me question why a hooker would have issues with being on Girls Gone Wild. Then I remembered that Joe Francis really deserves any lawsuit that comes up and hits him in the face, and that the Kardashians like him (...), so now I'm kind of disappointed that the lawsuit was dropped.

Ashley Dupre also has a single out, because apparantly she's a singer as well. I don't even know.

Because somehow they managed to get supermodel Heidi Klum on the cover of their upcoming album.

In case you don't remember, Hinder are the bastards who brought you shit such as "Lips of an Angel" and also that other song that I can't remember but was also shit.

I'm disappointed in Heidi for stooping to such a level. But I only really like her because she hosts Project Runway, in which she says "UR OWT!" a lot, and also brought us season 4's winner Christian Siriano, who has great hair.

Now you, too, can go out clubbing and make out with a random girl, even though you have a boyfriend back home!
Credit where it's due, though, it is kind of funny. Also funny: people falling over stuff.
She kissed a girl, and she liked it.

"LiLo's Body In A Wonderland".

OH, TMZ!
YOU AND YOUR CRAZY TITLES!

And "Gay old time"?
What..?
OH, I GET IT! It's because "gay" is another word for "happy", and Disneyland is happy! Andand, they're lesbians! Meaning they're gay! Haha, TMZ, y so funny?!

It seems that Star Magazine and InTouch Weekly have two different ideas on the gender of the twins currently in Angelina Jolie's uterus.

Whatever.
Don't these bitches know that Angelina could have two girls and a boy and a girl in the same set of twins? She is that fierce. Fact.

Even though Brit's gone back to her boring old self by now.

According to this source...

"[Madonna] is rumoured to be hooking up with Miss Spears in New York City tomorrow to record a video, which will be broadcast on big screens during her upcoming Sticky and Sweet tour."

Haha, it'd be totally funny if they cut the text after "Madonna is rumoured to be hooking up with Miss Spears in New York City tomorrow", giving the humourous yet historically accurate impression that Madonna and Miss Spears were making out in NYC. Oh wait...they also could cut it at "..to record a video" too! Or even "..during her upcoming Sticky and Sweet tour"!
Will the sexual innuendo never end?!


note: my apologies for not updating more. i'm going to blame my laziness on hollywood and say they tied me up in paris hilton's basement and forced me not to post for almost a month.

WWTDD?

Wow!
That's great news, you guys!
She and her boyfriend must be so happy!
...oh wait, hang on. Her boyfriend is a girl.
Um. So great news for lesbians! You can now have a baby without any peen!

These pictures were apparantly taken on the set of her new pregnancy-related movie, but, of course, there is noooo way you could get her to look pregnant without one of those belly things under her shirt...oh. Never mind.

Those pictures do look like she's pregnant, though.
Either that or she's in the early stages of becoming Perez Hilton!

Oh yes she does.

Somebody should probably tell her that real girls don't vomit up their food, either!

So throughout today, celebrity blogger Perez Hilton has been at it with Lily Allen.
And by "at it" I, of course, mean fighting, not having sex, because I'm pretty sure Perez is gay and Lily has standards.

The Beginning

So Perez, of course, is the one to initiate the BLOGGY BATTLE OF DOOOOOOOM!!1!1, when he decides to try to cause an argument between the newly pink-haired Lily and some other chick who I haven't heard of but who apparantly sings a song about pretending to be a lesbian. Perez "discovered" the latter, so I guess he's trying to drum up publicity for her so she gets all big and has him to thank. Haha.


Lily Responds!

Of course, Lily is much too lovely to start an argument with some girl she doesn't even know. However, she does feel the need to respond to Perez's blatant LIES LIES LIES!

Perez Responds to Lily's Responding!
...twice!

So Perez consults his "sources1" again, and decides that because Lily has a photo with Miss Fake Lesbian 2008, they must be bfflz.

Lily responds, again.

Lily responds for the final time, and kicks ass, but also includes a strangely accurate depiction of Perez!

Perez responds when we all really want him to stfu.

Perez grasps for facts, when we really wish he would stfu and gtfo, and we begin to think that they should just call each other or something? I don't know, I kind of feel like I'm the third wheel now.

1 And by "sources" I mean his own monkey brain.